This is just not my week I swear. What else could possibly go wrong for me at this point? Actually, I probably shouldn't say that cause I'm sure it could very well just end up getting worse yet.

I get ignored for who knows how long. I get accused of lying but yet the accuser won't tell me what I'm supposedly lying about. I get accused of being passive aggressive. I get accused of trying to milk everyone's sympathy. And then today, by another person, I get chewed out just because I don't have an icon for that person in the "My Friends" thing at the top of my journal here on DA. WTF?

I think I liked being ignored a hell of a lot better. I mean... really. If someone is going to accuse another person of lying, the least they could do is tell the person they are accusing what the hell it is that the person is supposedly lying about. What a crock of shit.

Passive aggressive? No. I don't think so. There's nothing passive about my aggressiveness. I don't go for that passive aggressive crap. When I want to be, I'm all out aggressive. Ask anyone who's pissed me off or wronged me in some way. Passive aggressive. What a laugh.

Trying to milk everyone's sympathy? That's the biggest laugh of it all really. Anyone who really knows me, knows that if there's one thing I hate the most is anyone's sympathy. I don't need, nor want, anyone's damn sympathy. I don't need, nor want, anyone's damn pity. If I was wanting people's sympathy and/or pity, I sure as hell wouldn't be looking for it online.

Very few people know the bullshit that I'm currently going through in my life. The few that do are the ones that I've considered friends... good friends. Right now there is only one person (besides myself) who knows a hell of a lot more than the others that's going on with me. I've been friends with him for over a year now. In fact, just tonight I talked with him some more about what's going on with me and what's been going through my head lately. Is it something that I care to tell anyone else? Hell no. Why? Because I probably would be locked away in a padded room for quite a while.

Is there some secret motive behind my actions? No. My only motive in life as of late is nothing more than to regain my sanity. Yes, I worry when my friends don't talk to me for some time and such. I worry that I've done something wrong. Yes, I will not hesitate to ask another person who I know talks to who ever it is that's not talked to me if they know if I've done something wrong or some shit like that. I have zero self-esteem. It's to be expected. I've been like this nearly all my life. The way it looks, it sure as hell isn't going to be changing any time soon.

I'm done ranting for the night. I've got more important things to do. I need to finish writing my article for a newsletter that the clubhouse I go to puts out once a month.